E-Portfolio: Camp Writing

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

The  big giant  swing.

When I went on the giant swing I was so excited

to go on it and I also felt like my tummy was  going up and down. And while
my tummy was going up and down.

I saw how scared my friend was and cheered her on. She took a big deep
breath as she was being pulled up into the very tall tree.

Student Comment: In my writing, one of my goals is to re-read writing to check it makes sense. I did show this goal here because  all sentences make sense. In my writing, one of my goals is to express feelings about the topic. I did show this goal here because is expressed how I was feeling. My next learning step is to keep working on my spelling. Teacher Comment: Savannah, this is such a great piece of writing.  You have improved so much with your sentences.  I like the way you have used adjectives to help describe.  Your next step is to re-read and check if you have repeated your sentences.  - Mrs Hunter